Here's Your Sign!

If you know anything about Bill Engvall you will know what the title of this post means. If not, let me explain. Rob and I love country music and a few years ago we were introduced to this particular comedian along with a few other red-neck comedians. His jokes include a Here's Your Sign theme. In his own words:

Stupid people should have to wear signs that say, "I'm stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be
like, "Excuse me...oops...nevermind, didn't see your sign."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas
stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said,"Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into
the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning. No problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he says "So..is your truck stuck?" I
couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig, then back to him
and said, "No I'm delivering a bridge...Here's your sign!".

I'm in high school, and I was walking to my 6th period class the other day. When I get there (being the first one there) I pull on the door to find it locked. The drapes are closed, so I can't see if anyone is inside, so just to be sure, I start pounding on the door. At that moment the principle walks by the classroom with keys and says "are you locked out?" I said, "Nope, the door made fun of my mom, I was just
giving him a beating for it. Here's your sign."

I pull up at the Christmas tree shop and I walk up and the guy says, "Hey you here to buy a tree?" ..."Nope, My son had to go to the bathroom and these trees looked mighty inviting." Here's your sign!

I come in the house soaking wet and am greeted by "Is it Raining?".."nope, decided to take the fish for a walk". Here's your sign!

I was traveling down the road with a buddy and there's a guy driving around in a jeep with a dead deer strapped to the hood. My buddy says to me "You think he's been hunting?".."Nope, They're probably giving them away with the purchase of every jeep." Here's your sign!

I am out in public...and using the phone. I am in a phone booth, got the phone in my hand and a man taps on the glass and says "You using the phone?"..."Nope, I'm superman, I am just looking for my costume." Here's your sign!

Anybody you know need a sign today?

So what happens when it snows and then it rains? It gets icy. What happens when you decide to venture out with kids thinking the sun is out, maybe the snow/ice is softening up? Your first clue that that isn't the case is you hear your kids walking in the snow and all you hear is CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH! You think, the kids are dressed and you can't disappoint. What is the worse thing that could happen? We will just glide across the snow/ice? That is true to an extent but as it starts to break up its like broken glass against your sled. The end result: NOT PRETTY!!! Here's your sign!! Make sure you click on the picture to get the full effect.



Garrett and Tasha got sleds for Christmas. They were anxious to try them out (along with mom and dad). This was their first time sledding. Luckily no one ended up with a broken leg on our not so smart adventure. Tasha loved it, Garrett wasn't so sure of the hill and Ty wanted to get up close and personal with the snow/ice.